i just fell asleep sitting on the bathroom's sink-shelf thingy.
it felt like the most peaceful place in the world.. With the cold tiled wall supporting my back and the cool breeze coming in from the window, giving me light goosebumps..

i dont really need a room to live in, i can survive in a bathroom. I spend most of the time sitting on its sink-shelf or dancing in front of the mirror or scribbling notes n songs on the walls and the mirror.. i still have stuff written on the walls by my friends who have long left my life for good.. and now that we have to shift out of this house i cant bring myself to erase all those memories from the walls.
-sigh
i dont really like changes. i have ugly curtains in my room but i wont change them just cuz i would miss the way they give the fairytale-ish feel wen u turn the light outside the window on and leave the room dark.

Life has its own ways of treating with this 'condition' of mine. i save thousands of texts in my phone and then it gets screwed and all of them are lost.. i write poems in my notebooks, during class lectures, and they end up in the garbage.
i guess the garbage man gives these papers to the street vendors .. so someone somewhere might have read a poem of mine written on the piece of paper their 'samosa' was packed in. Its a kinda nice thought =)

sinful holiness...
the pain of pleasure..

the sparkle of a teary eye
why it shines so?

righting the wrong
completes us.


i can survive without u, but i cant live without u.. for i now know what 'living' is like. The winds of brokeback swept my life out and its stuck there..between the rocks..where the water played with our mingled beings.. Lets go unlock our lives. lets live our fairytale.

my laptop is sitting on a shelf in the kitchen n m about to pass out with hunger. Which makes one wonder why the hell m i writing this and not preparing myself food then?! uh right wait il go fix myself a sandwich.
ok so the burger patty is defrosting in the microwave now n the oil is heating up for it to be fired in. So what was i going to write about? uh i think i forgot.. that's what happens when u stay up the whole night doing practically 'nothing' and letting your brain slowly die.
oh wait i did make mum a card. Its her birthday but she doesn't like celebrating it so i mostly just make her a card, n so do my siblings, and we give her flowers. so now an ugly card and a lovely red rose are sitting on her side table from me =)

i guess il just go off n try studying the French Revolution or at least try to.
later.
damn this sandwich is soo good!

You know those characters you read about in classic age novels who can not imagine being in a love based relation more than once? That also when they fall in love so easily, one sentence or a smile or a wet eye is enough for them to commit their life to that person. Yet they might just spend their entire period of existence behaving coldly with that person for that is the wise act. its all so unrealistic and sweet. But then it gets annoying when you actually ponder over their situation.
I am going to write a book about myself and i will very much be that same character. Not exactly but yes, very much.
One more common thing i have with them, I believe in fairytales.

Ok i seriously need a life. I mean i cant get premature ventricular contractions(stole that one from 'No strings attached') everytime he tweets. Its not even like he is tweeting to me! .. Like in my dreams he would do that.
N there is the fact that he is gay.. Which just makes me like him more.. *hides* .. Gay guys are sensitive ok?thats it. See he sings with such passion, such emotion!
It kinda hurt wen he said he doesn't feel the song wen he is singing but then i realised he was talkin about those crazy rock ones where all he does is scream. Not that i dont love his screams, i totally do.. Which reminds me of this song of his where he says '..give it to u till ur screamin my name!' he doesn't need to do that, like girls n guys both are screamin it just watchin him perform.

Why am i writting all this?! With my chemistry book sittin open in my lap m here blogging from my cell. I seriously need to get a life i swear. Thinking about a guy who doesn't even know i exist..sad. But i dont want to! Not that i can help it.. Everytime i listen to a song of his i feel like OMG someone who sings like this..how can i not love him?

Its the exam stress i swear..i dont even think about him everyday :p but i just prefer babbling about Adam Lambert's awesomeness rather than tryin to memorize how high density polyethene needs Zeigler-Natta as a catalyst whose components are TiCl4 + triethyl aluminium.
*facepalm*
i would rather study about Adam's wardrobe n vocal exercise =/

so m shutting up now.

Now is ur chance,
its not gonna last for long..
The sun's soon gonna shine bright n lighten up the dark side ..
No hiding from it then, is there?
All worries will come alight.
So let ur spirit wander now.. Let it fly high .. let it fall..
Till the darkness shields u, do it all.
And as soon as u see the first beam of light,
hide under the covers n close ur eyes! :p

LOL seriously, point is i was kinda high all night n i let the darkness keepthe books hidd from my sight but its a new day now n the worries are all buildin up cuz my 'high' brain has fallen back into place .. Damn power about to go down gotta post this .. So watever. Good night/mornin

i post on my new blog n keep this one for taking out my crazy frustrations.. n thought no one's ever gonna read this stuff, at least no one i know. It will be my personal diary kinda thing n if some random stranger comes across it n reads it, it would be just fun =) cuz they won't know me so won't judge me like those who do... but now while commenting on a blog i realized anyone can open my blog through my id i use for commenting on others blogs! all u gotta do is click on my name!:P how stupid am i?seriously..
ah watever..